Beauty: Power and destruction

It's not easy being a pretty woman.

I'm not saying this to boost my vanity; but this is to express how much trauma it has been causing me. It always feels great to look good and be admired by people, but when the appreciation goes beyond limit, it could be fatal.

I am a very friendly person especially with guys. That's because inside me is also a boy's heart. I loved a lot of boyish games when I was younger, I liked race cars, (and still do) billiards and a little bit of basketball. But sometimes friendship with the opposite sex goes beyond limits.

I feel a bit irritated when some guys whistle around or sing jukebox love songs just to catch my attention. But the nuisance turns to fear when they intentionally follow my every step, or better yet, stalk me.

My cellphone was snatched thrice when I was younger, experienced 3 consecutive days of being followed around by different strangers, and encountered several attempting robbers inside the vehicle that I rode, going to work or coming back home.

One supervisor-to-be was even trying to get close to me, in a suspicious way. I just met him when I applied in this certain company. Though we were not really friends, he was acting like he was. And He, out of nowhere suddenly invites me for beer at his own home? No way.

And the most traumatic experience for me was encountering these three men near my house one night, whom I later found out were the drunkards in our village. One of them was the guy who often called my attention, saying "Ate, ate!" ("Hey, big sister!") every time my sister and I goes to work. When they found out that our Dad was not at home, they tried to get in our house. Good thing we immediately called the police, and now they're under probation.

Now I'm not against men, and I'm not against being beautiful. Every girl always wants to look good, smell good, and feel good. But sometimes this desire is being corrupted, and every woman's freedom to beauty is harassed.

I cannot blame myself for being paranoid now with guys, especially if they're strangers. I know somehow that I should be careful and watchful of people around me, to protect myself.

And I should keep this in mind, even if the truth is abused: Beauty is power...and destructive.