Dear Mum..

Dear Mum,

It's been seven years now since you've been gone. How are you up there?

Down, down here is a different environment now; I'm pretty sure you're disappointed with how our house looks like--it's quite a mess and some things are piled up or misplaced. We're adopting an old siamese cat for almost four years now--and I know how much you hate 'em!

As you can see, I'm all alone again...in the morning the dishes will be washed up in a few minutes, and your red carpet will be vacuumed on Sunday. The garage will be cleaned after a few leaves have blown into the facade, and don't you worry--the vases are somehow complete.

But what I do wanted to tell you about was this problem of mine.. I just got kicked out again. I'm stuck at home, the PC's open and I'm wasting my time singing over some karaoke videos at YouTube. I know it's crazy; but don't you just love singing for even just a few minutes?

I know I have yet some responsibilities to finish. But Mum..I'm not a robot. I just want to control myself from sulking.

If you're just around, you'd be the first that I'd be hugging right now and telling you all the stuff I've been experiencing.

For once I thought being independent was cool and mature. But sometimes I realize it's not just about being wise and smart and..alone. In fact I hate being alone.

Now that I'm stuck here I miss my friends so much. You've seen me cry several times over small problems, money, career pressures...and oh, those men that I've been telling you about.

Everytime I look at your favorite plum couch I remember how we loved talking about fashion and TV shows and the craziest getaways we could think of. And do you remember when I quitted my Physical Therapy course and took a crash course at Informatics back in college? During the mornings before I went to class, you had three different newspapers to read and you loved to watch me draw on countless papers on the floor. I can still remember your funny laughs, your chinky-eyes and the chocolates you secretly ate in your room.

I've messed up so many times; you've seen me fall--but I hope I'm still your baby girl. It's hard living without you.

I miss having a mum who would listen to me and talk to me like a girl friend. I never wanted to cry in front of you because it was quite awkward for you to see me in such a manner..but now I realized how precious my tears are to you. I meant so much to you, and I barely understood that.

If I could have a chance to see you again how I wish I'd be stuck in your arms.

I miss you so much.