Like a toe nail

I had my brother remove my right toe nail the other night because it was rotting and loose (obviously you wonder why I experienced that). It was my consequence for not trimming my nail during my summer hike this year. 

I was going downhill at Mt. Ugo somewhere in Benguet at that time. The gravity pushed me harder and my shoes pushed my nail backwards. Then it started to darken and the blood inside my toe clotted. I could hardly walk that afternoon! After a month, my nail stiffened and lifted inch by inch. A few days later, it started breaking down.

It was quite a painful, stressful and sweat-dropping surgery. My brother had to inject anesthesia on both sides of my small toe to prevent me from screaming in pain. Ironically I still shrieked--in horror. I squeezed my head with two pillows to keep myself from witnessing the operation (it was done in the living room). My brother, currently a practitioner in general medicine, knew that I am paranoid of pain. So he patiently calmed me down so as not to cause damage during the surgery.

After thirty minutes of carefully detaching my pink-polished spoiled nail, my brother proved it was a success. He even dared me to look at the remnant but I resisted anyway. I was too afraid to see how it appeared. Laughing, my brother poured the liquid antiseptic into the open wound and wrapped it with the gauze I bought at the drugstore that same night. The healing gradually continues until today.


With that unusual experience, I realized that it can be compared to people's lives. I pictured my toe as a symbol of our desires, dreams, relationships...our destiny. Like our toes, sometimes we overlook our treasures in life with our everyday business. We work, sleep, eat, wake up, go to the gym, meet our friends, spend leisure time, visit our friends and families, meet new people, and life goes on. Yet we tend to forget the value of who we are, or reaching our goals.


As we neglect our responsibilities, something begins to distract our ambitions. Problems get in the way, money issues come in, unwanted relationships occur, various temptations pop up, someone gets sick, an addiction butts in, there's peer pressure, and the list continues. Distractions stick to us. And if we don't take care of our dreams, it will start to rot until it dies. And what have we got left? Footholds that slowly destroy our entity.


The only solution to dissolve these footholds is to pull them off of our lives. And just like my toe nail surgery experience, it will always be painful. Sometimes we don't even want to open our eyes it just hurts so much. We are too scared to have it taken out because we worry about how it would change our destiny. But little do we know that letting go is the next step to pass the journey.


As we surrender our bondage, in a little while our lives become dull. It will appear empty, ugly and messy. But this is how it should be. And we must get through this to go to the next level. 


It takes a couple of months (or even longer) to have my nails back in shape. It is a long process, but it is going to be a better one. Like in life, as we hold on and wait, the time will come when things will get better. But only if we let go; knowing how much it would cost. 


Letting go is a brave and painstakingly stage of life. Sometimes it appears to be so hard, but when we submit and have faith that things will be okay--things will indeed be okay. In fact, better.


"A bondage is a thing, event, people, or anything that keeps us from reaching to our destiny."