The roller coaster life

Life, as some may describe it, is like a roller coaster. There are days you go up, then speeds downwards and turns round and round until it makes you dizzy.

I find this comparison a bit shallow; not thinking much--why, indeed, do some people connect it with a theme park ride? I find it hilarious. Unreasonable. Rubbish.

Just the way I thought about life: hilarious, unreasonable...and definitely rubbish.

In my eyes my life mirrored my soul like a piece of cake that I could swallow anytime; and even top it with cherries and chocolate sauce whenever I wanted to. I threw my money to several bars, islands, beaches and hotels. And what have I got left? A few pennies to dish out on clothes, shoes, and all those fancy jewelry.

At those days my life was not a roller coaster. It was just a slice of dessert decorated with unnecessary flavors. Sweet.

Although I admit; my fresh young yesterdays weren't completely colorful at all. I was young but I was bitter. The experience of losing my mother and encountering a first job that went fiery like hell pierced my heart and bleed a flowing nightmare. "But those days are gone," I thought; not knowing another stage like that could happen anytime soon.

It was not long until I found myself another job. It went smooth from the beginning, and though there were jagged moments at times, the stage still ended like a fairy tale. I got hooked with this flowery life. Everything was pretty as pink--I felt like a princess in my own castle. In fact it was such an easy life, until i got bored with it. Everything turned into a glimpse of happiness. I wanted more. I wanted adventure. I wanted some danger.

I thought the word danger only existed in horror movies. I never thought it could happen to anyone. Just...anyone.

I dived into a basin of sea, not knowing about the sharks that swam there all night. And as I swam into that open water I wasn't aware about the danger that would swallow me whole. And there, the shark found me. It galloped me whole.

I woke up, realizing that my fairy tale land now turned into World War II. There's famine, shame, bitterness, sorrow and fear, literally. All the colorful shades I once painted now covered up with black and white--and some tints of red, perhaps. I tried to calm myself by closing my eyes; but I can't close my eyes forever. I have to wake up and accept reality. I am now in danger, as I had wished. Although I tried going back, I just can't. I'm here now. I'm stuck here.

As I crouch inside my jail of uncertainty, I sway my body to and fro, thinking of ways to get out. But the chains in my body are like a curse that crept into my soul; speaking about hatred and self-pity. I am trapped in my own wishes. And this is my consequence for playing with fire.

How I wish I never dived into that murdering ocean. How I wish I am still sitting in my own princess throne, enjoying all the perks of my former life. But this is the price of becoming a prodigal child who never magnified the essence of life.

Now I humbly accept that life, indeed is like a roller coaster. It can lift you up one bit, put you down and take you in endless circles until it steals away your sanity.

Then I might as well ask; what time does this theme park close?